Camp NaNo 2011 – The Machine, edit! Camp NaNo 2012 – The Machine, edit. Camp NaNo 2013 – … yeah. something. yeah. so, i’m hoping i’ll actually produce what someone somewhere might chose to term a “final draft” of this thing at some point between now and early June. the CreateSpace five-free-copy deadline is June 30th, but it’s not good on the proof copy, so i’ve gotta get that and approve it, and then i can order my free copies. i’m hoping to pass those out to some beta readers this summer, so the pressure’s on… i guess… at this moment, i’m just hoping i’ll still like the story when i’m done with it. i was working on it this afternoon, and i was discovering all this really cool stuff, that’s going to make this draft the best one yet! and then i got to this one point, and i was like, great, okay, i like this scene, but it’s not really working, so we should change it… yeah… we totally should… okay so… let’s… yeah… *facepalm* it’s not that i have any particular aversion to killing my darlings, i take a kind of perverse pleasure in doing away with things i once thought were great. it’s just that i’m at that stage where i’m starting to wonder if the whole novel isn’t just too lame to continue being in existance. i think every writer goes through this feeling at some (all?) points of a book’s creation, so i’m definitely not going to stop just because of a little (huge) lack of confidence problem, but it is there nonetheless, staring at me with that neglected partner look that says, “your netflix subscription misses you.” well, my netflix subscription is gonna have to sit on its DVDs, because CAMP NANOWRIMO APPROACHETH! i’m in a really awesome cabin this year, with people who seem actually active, and one chick who lives like a couple blocks from me (well, i think. she tweets about going places that are “down the street” from her that also happen to be “down the street” from me…). i’ve got a fancy new/old notebook, and a fancy new biro, and i’ve been making lots of notes already, like i said. i did a big structural edit last year for Camp, so most of those pieces are already in place, but i’m going back over those decisions just in case i’ve had some cooler ideas. i’m pretty much writing a series of papers on the novel, covering all the connections, and the relationship of every single person/place/thing to the title/theme, asking “What if… (it wasn’t there? it happened like this? or like this?)” about every scene, every plot choice, every everything. this will (hopefully some time in the next 10 days) produce a rock solid outline, and then once Camp actually starts, i’m going to start at the top and go over everything with a fine toothed comb: is this the right word, is this how Kale/William/Mercer/etc would actually feel/act/think/speak/etc. then in May, i can do a final Read It Out Loud word choice pass and mull over it for a couple good weeks and then (finally! jeez) upload it for a proof copy and go from there. it’s a pretty short “novel,” so it’s 100% doable, i’ve just got to stop paying attention to my inner doubting thomas. *places hand in wound* .