fact 32 – home again home again

whoopity fuck.

oh man, i’m in such a pissy mood today. of course, things started off badly when i was forced to spend my first night back in my grandmother’s house. the place, literally, made me dizzy. there are only two grounded plugs in that entire building, that’s how old it is. probably? it hasn’t been aired out since it was built. i was so ill that night. not nauseous, or sick to my stomach, but standing up was enough to make me dizzy. not that my sinuses were doing great to begin with. i made the mistake of having 7up instead of water on the plane ride back, and my body exacted its retribution like clockwork. my sinuses are still having issues. my ears are all clogged up, my nose is basically one solid mass of snot, and my throat has been dry for a week now, despite the near-ocean-levels of water i’ve been drinking. i can hardly sing. it’s actually quite annoying, because after three weeks of not being able to sing aloud at all, i’m now stuck with some disgusting little drowned canary sound coming out of my mouth.

at least i’ve managed to eat some peanut butter and butter sammiches, one toasted bagel and turkey sammich, and about a bazillion cans of caffine, that is, dr pepper. also i’m working on my second pint of ben & jerry’s cherry garcia, courtesy of my loving mother.

i’ve also managed to list at least one thing every day this week over @ notuboc! yays me. not like i don’t have a substantial backlog, the problem is just, as always, i. am. lazy. to prove my case (phoenix wright STYLE baby!) here is a list of things i need to do, in no particular order of importance:

get a job
get a car
work on conlang Gunsta
work on conlang, as yet unnamed
contact ms green about possible consignment gig
continue reading
finish Hyperspace by michio kaku
write leftover script frenzy script
write june/july proseplease prompt
raise prices on items at etsy shop
make plushies
stab all humanity
finish japanese books for budokan
finish demian syndrome extras
finish lunar desert
study more japanese
get back to college
get degree
go to japan
disappear into immortality

… okay, so maybe some of those are more what you might call “long term” but hey, a girl can dream, right? in this mood? i feel like it may be all that’s left to me. i need a car. but i can’t even begin to hope to pay for one. as of this moment i have $6 in my bank account, and no job. so, i need a job. but i can’t get to any interviews w/out a car. so, i need a car. but i can’t buy a car w/out a job. so, i need a job. but, i can’t get to any interviews w/out breaking my entire mind, slipping over the edge into the seething abyss of enraged insanity, and stabbing all of humanity! YAYS.

zomg. actually, demian syndrome is a blast to read, but the font’s all messed up, so it’s a little difficult for me if i’m not concentrating. there is the little chibi extra, but frankly, the longer one’s more fun. and lunar desert’s kind of easy, so that’s not on my list of “but i don’t wanna~” either. and the conlangs are a blast, as usual (that would be constructed language for those of you not dorky enough to have invented your own language) but i’ve been working on that most of the day, so i’m pretty much done with that for today. the consignment thing’ll have to wait till tomorrow, when they’re open, but hopefully they can wait till after 3.30 or so to meet, because … wait for it … I DON’T HAVE A CAR!

bastard tilton’s. my car was perfect. PERFECT, YOU HEAR ME. you fuckballs.

ahem. sorry. a few… rage… issues, as you can see. my apologies. everyone in that swedish household went to bed at like 11 pm, and i finally got to stay up by myself for extended periods of time. it was kind of surprising how quickly my writing sparked back up. i got about 10 pages in the collaborative novel (a bookmooch thing, where we send a little blank journal thing around and each person writes the next part of a story) and then i even moved on to to proseplease prompt, which, by the by, is awesome this time around. i don’t know who thought that up, but it rocks. problem is, i didn’t get to finish it before i came home, so now it’s back under the soil, buried right alongside my writing desire. i haven’t written anything since november. well, march, i guess. it feels like years. i miss it. i need a job if only so i can move out of this house and start writing again. i miss the little thrill when i write fin at the end and close the notebook. can i have that back? … please?


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